No one HAS to force straight folk to declare their sexuality: It is declared by a matter of assumption; as a matter of fact; as a matter of custom; as a matter of practice; as a matter of default; as a matter of religion; as a matter of God; as a matter of narrative; as a matter of media; as a matter of science; as a matter of law.

It is, in fact, woven into the fabric of human existence that WE ARE ALL heterosexual and, somehow, deviate from the “right path” onto the “wrong path” of queerness.

There are no such things as “private heterosexuality” or “heterosexuality that is no one else’s business.” If there was, there would be no such things as weddings or engagement rings or public dating or procreation or romantic comedies or proms or cotillions or common law marriages or honeymoons or spouses or love songs or high school dances or Valentine’s Day.

If there is no such thing as “private heterosexuality,” why do we INSIST that “private homosexuality” be a choice?

My theory? Because a lot of us, including many queer folk, deep down inside, believe there’s something WRONG with queerness and can only deal with it in the dark.